ppl kept asking me how im feeling. to be honest, I AM NOT OK. i juz put on a show in front of my mum. i want her to be strong. she's coping well. alhamdulillah. but me?? i still cant get over the loss.
everybody knows i am my father's pet. i love him juz as much. but i didnt show it during his last few days. i wasnt even there when he breathed his last. i kept questioning myself wat kind of daughter am i.
i cant believe he actually left me when i'm only in my 11th day of confinement. its too soon. he cldnt get to see my child grow up. im not blaming GOD, but i juz find my life is pretty unfair at times. i tot things were going pretty well for me, when this had to happen. i was juz too engrossed over my newborn that i neglected my father. my one and only father. and now...i cant see him ever again.
i cry whenever im alone. i miss him. i really do. i kept reminiscing the times i had with him. as a child, i was closer to him than my mum. sigh... im loss for words.. i cant seem to pour out my feelings... its juz too sudden that he's gone. i still can smell him, i still can hear him.. i still can feel him... but i cant see him.
im very depressed..
i wanna talk about my dad. but the words i have now juz cant be typed out.
i really miss u papa... my tots and prayers are forever with u.
