i miss him so much. so so so so very very very very much. i get all emotional whenever im alone. like now. its been exactly 4 weeks since he left us. since he left me. every inch of the house, reminds me of him. everywhere i dine, i think of him. the loss is THAT great. even as im typing now, my tears juz cant stop flowing. i know. no amt of tears or whatsoever can bring him back to me.
im terribly sad. i have to repeat this again. i miss him very much. i cry like a baby whenever i think of him. i miss his jokes. i miss him playing his guitar. i miss his kisses. yes. he still kissed me even though im married. so great was his love for me. i miss everything about him. i sleep on his bed when im at my mum's. i feel his presence. only me. maybe mum, too.
:(
and it pained me whenever i hear his song composition plays on the radio. and it pains me when somebody else tries to be him. you people can never play like my dad.
this may, he would have received an international award on his music composition. he was really looking forward to it. but... he left too soon.
i'm sure some of u must have heard of his band and his songs...
"A Ramlie and The Rythmn Boys". yup. my father was the leading guitarist. He was the one who composed "Kenangan Mengusik Jiwa" (Walaupun jauh beribu batu namun hati ku.. tetap padamu......)
and
"Hidup Bersama" (Di tepi pantai yg indah Ku duduk seorang diri suasana sepi...)
Heard of it?? maybe not?? it was in the 60s. ur parents should know if they were in the same era.
ppl kept asking me how im feeling. to be honest, I AM NOT OK. i juz put on a show in front of my mum. i want her to be strong. she's coping well. alhamdulillah. but me?? i still cant get over the loss.
everybody knows i am my father's pet. i love him juz as much. but i didnt show it during his last few days. i wasnt even there when he breathed his last. i kept questioning myself wat kind of daughter am i.
i cant believe he actually left me when i'm only in my 11th day of confinement. its too soon. he cldnt get to see my child grow up. im not blaming GOD, but i juz find my life is pretty unfair at times. i tot things were going pretty well for me, when this had to happen. i was juz too engrossed over my newborn that i neglected my father. my one and only father. and now...i cant see him ever again.
i cry whenever im alone. i miss him. i really do. i kept reminiscing the times i had with him. as a child, i was closer to him than my mum. sigh... im loss for words.. i cant seem to pour out my feelings... its juz too sudden that he's gone. i still can smell him, i still can hear him.. i still can feel him... but i cant see him.
im very depressed..
i wanna talk about my dad. but the words i have now juz cant be typed out.
i really miss u papa... my tots and prayers are forever with u.
The Rythmn Boys. Papa's on the extreme right. 
Papa in the 70s. 
Papa during my engagement. 